The outhouse at Aunt Nora’s house

H Squared Communications Value #4 – Honesty
Good communication is straightforward and concise. It also requires the recipient to trust the source of the information. We will always be honest with you, and with your audience.

In my senior year of college, I was asked to write a regular column for our campus newspaper. What a compliment. But like many things in life, this gift had a catch. The editor asked me to review public bathrooms and write a column about what I learned. While someone else had the fine job of reviewing local restaurants and telling the student body how good the food was, I went to places like Walmart and wrote about what I found inside its restroom.

My column became a place for me to share my thoughts on a variety of topics, all starting out with a review of a particular bathroom. We titled it “The Toilet Truth.” You see, the most honest place on the earth is any public restroom. There are no secrets in a communal bathroom. No way to disguise the sounds and smells. Each person in a public restroom is at their most vulnerable state, and from the stalls, we accept each other as we are.

Honesty is one of my highest values, and honesty also is a big deal in the communications world. Especially when the public needs to trust the information you are providing for their safety, honesty is important. The highest priority of any professional communicator, or just human in general, should be to tell the truth. Whether it’s conveying your personal story or sharing critical information during a public emergency, to tell the truth is to potentially save people.

As I began to organize my thoughts around what I wanted my business to feel like, I decided I needed to be clear about my personal values, and how those values could be integrated into my work at H Squared Communications. I previously have written blog posts on our values of authenticity, gratitude, and passion. Honesty is our final value, and the four together offer a glimpse at how our clients can expect us to work with them.

Honesty is defined as adherence to the facts, fairness and straightforwardness of conduct, truthfulness, sincerity, frankness, and freedom from deceit or fraud. But honesty is more than just telling the truth each chance you get. It’s knowing when the truth is important and when the true thing doesn’t need to be said at all.

How does honesty translate into action at H Squared Communications?

1. Honest communications are simple and concise. If you need to use a lot of big words to say something, it likely isn’t coming from a true place. We work to craft communications that are easy to understand, frank, and maybe even blunt, especially when public safety or personal reputations are on the line.

2. Trust is imperative for effective communication, and trust is earned through honest exchanges. If a person is caught in an untruth, nothing more of what they say can be trusted, and subsequent communications are worthless. We will work to earn your trust, and we create communications that can be trusted as well.

3. We tell our clients the truth, and we expect our clients to tell us the truth, too. We value honesty so much it’s written into our contracts. If we learn our client hasn’t been truthful about the situation on which we are consulting, we have the option to end the contract, and our clients can do the same.

4. We will always be honest with your audience. In other words, we will never lie on your behalf. If you are in such a public relations pickle that you think you need to hire someone to lie for you, hire someone else. That’s not something we will ever do, and we would strongly advise against it if given the opportunity.

5. Honest communications can feel vulnerable, and vulnerability by definition is not a comfortable feeling. But honest, vulnerable communications also are authentic, and authenticity is exactly what the world craves today. The deliverables we create for you will convey your honest, authentic brand. While that can sometimes make you feel exposed, it also can be tremendously freeing.

I am grateful for the truth tellers in my life. The two people I can always count on to give me the honest truth are my husband and my best friend. When I need a reality check, they are my resources. When I need the even toilety truth, they never disappoint.

H Squared Communications can be the truth tellers for you and your organization. If honest, accurate, and timely information is your goal, we are your resource to help. Our best advice? Just tell the truth. Even if it’s from a bathroom stall.

Today, only a handful of horses graze in what used to be the “calving pasture.”

You haven’t really lived until you have been awakened by a newborn calf mooing from the hallway bathroom. When you are a ranchers’ daughter, it’s hard to know what creatures you may find in your own home, especially during calving season.

If you aren’t familiar with the process, calves are born wet, sticky, and gross, and that’s a bad thing in the winter weather of South Dakota. Calves can freeze into popsicles quickly in high winds, extreme cold, or blizzard conditions.

My mom relates stories of Dad showing up at the front door, out of breath from running up to the house with a new-born calf in his arms. They would work quickly to place the calf in the bathtub and run warm water, doing everything they could to help the calf survive its frosty beginnings. Most of the time their efforts paid off. My sister and I thought it was entertaining to use our hair dryer on the new calf’s fur before it went back outside.

My mom and dad both were on duty 24 hours a day, especially in March, April, and May. Daytime was all hands on deck. After our breakfast as a family, mornings would begin with checking on all the calves born overnight to make sure they were cleaned up and had eaten. This could take some time, depending on how many new calves there were and how difficult their mothers were being. Then all the cows had to be fed, which Mom and Dad did together every day. By early afternoon, they might be able to take a lunch break before the work started all over again.

Nighttime was not a time for rest. Dad would go to bed at about 8 p.m. after eating dinner with us and checking the cows one more time. Then Mom would go out about 10 p.m. to see what was going on. If a cow was calving, Mom would come back to the house and sleep in the chair for a bit, setting the timer on the microwave in the kitchen to wake her up. If she needed Dad’s help, she would flash the lights in the barn. It was my job to watch out the window for the signal, and then go wake up Dad. Teamwork at its finest.

In cold weather, one or the other would go out to check the cows at least every two hours. Dad was on the 2 a.m. shift. Mom would get back up at 5 a.m. By summer, my parents were deeply exhausted, usually bruised in a few places, and ready to join the land of the living again.

One of our favorite cows―named Pineapple because of her rich, yellowish-colored fur―was super laid back most of the year. We have photos of my dad feeding her by hand with his hat on her head. She was gentle and friendly, that is until she had her baby each year. Once her calf was on the ground, look out. She would place herself between her baby and every other living thing, and you better not get too close. She was a good momma.

We often would become attached to the calves who came into the world in unique ways, and my sister and I got to help bottle feed any calves that weren’t claimed by their mothers. One year, a cow had twins, cleaned them both up and let them both eat, but then clearly chose her favorite and abandoned the other. The one she chose was named Jacob, and the one we ended up having to bottle feed was named Esau.

Another cow had twins one year, a male and a female, but only claimed the male as her own. The female calf needed to be bottle fed and spent lots of time in the barn with us. We named her Rainbow, for some reason. Later that year, Rainbow’s brother, who was a runt and too small to sell in the fall, was put in the barn with her when the other calves went off to the sale. Rainbow ran from him and hid behind my dad. We are fairly certain she thought she was human.

One calf wasn’t breathing when he was born, and we thought he was dead for some time. But my mom and dad didn’t give up that easy. There wasn’t much they would not have done to save a calf’s life. It wasn’t unheard of for Dad to give a calf CPR and mouth-to-mouth. In this case, after several minutes and a lot of pounding on his chest, the calf finally took his first breath. We named him Lazarus.

My parents are mostly retired now. Today, only a handful of horses graze in what used to be the “calving pasture.” But I still remember watching the just-born calves try to stand up on their long, wobbly legs. They would slip and slide on their stilt-like limbs until they could hold their ground. The main goal was to eat their first real meal, and that required standing firmly on all four feet.

This month H Squared Communications celebrates our one-year anniversary. This past year has felt a little like giving birth, although I am not sure which part of the story I am exactly. Some days I have felt like the mother cow, doing everything possible to protect my baby. Other days I have felt like the wobbling calf still trying to get my legs under me. All along the way I have been so grateful for the humans who were there to assist and support.

I am thankful, too, that for 18 years I saw first-hand my mom and dad’s work ethic and persistence. This past year has been amazing but also the most uncomfortable 365 days of my life. Like my parents during calving season, I have seen every hour on the clock, worked very hard, and learned to flash the lights when I needed help. But I also have seen God show up in incredible ways and give me strength to stand on my own two feet.

Please celebrate with my family and me as we honor the past year and champion all that is to come! We will lift a glass together during a ribbon cutting ceremony on Thursday, May 16, 2019, at 4:30 p.m. at Remedy Brewing Company, 401 East 8th Street #120, Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Our family’s barn always smelled like dusty leather.

Waiting tables in the Black Hills during the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally is a way to become educated in quite a few topics. I turned 15 the first summer I was a server at a local café during bike week. I worked breakfast, the time when bikers want coffee, sometimes a bloody mary, and biscuits and gravy. I was usually the only rested person in the room, brought them caffeine, and kept smiling even when they came in later and later―and more and more hung over―as the week went on, so it was a lucrative first job for a teenager saving up to purchase a car.

Bikers tend to travel in swarms and appear all at once. One minute the dining room would be empty, and the next moment it would be full of people dressed in black leather and bandanas. They needed sustenance before they headed out onto the highway to go sightseeing, and they were ready to get on the road as soon as their credit card slips were signed.

Now, don’t get me wrong, most “bikers” in real life are school teachers, doctors, electricians, CEOs, journalists, and others taking a week off to let it all hang out. And boy, did it all hang out. But I really started to love these people. My breakfast customers often were staying on site and came back year after year. I got to know them a bit and could anticipate what they were going to order. I was good at waiting tables. Bikers did pay for my maroon Taurus, provided all my spending money in high school and part of college, and taught me a lot of valuable lessons in life.

It was during this time, and in this place, I acquired the nickname. My name rhymes with quite a few words, so I have been light as a feather. I have forecasted the weather. But this nickname was my favorite: tough as leather. “Heatha tough as leatha” was even written across my birthday cake the summer I turned 16.

I am not sure I really deserved this nickname, but I certainly earned it. I was the last one standing one morning when another server marched over, handed me the coffee pot she had been carrying table to table, and walked out the door. We never saw her again. One year I worked doubles, both breakfast and dinner shifts, for 10 days and somehow kept that smile on my face. At the end of bike week that year, some of my annual biker customers were sad to learn that after five summers, it was time for me to stay in my college town the next year and work toward new goals.

Since that time, I sure haven’t always felt tough. I have closed my office door and burst into tears more than once. I have burned myself out at more than one job. I have not held up well under certain pressures. I have always taken criticism way too personally.

But I think back to that girl carrying four plates at a time, balancing trays of drinks in the air, walking so confidently with her head held high, and I am grateful that at 14 years old I was forced to walk up to total strangers and make small talk before taking their orders. That made me outgoing.

I am grateful that I did have to buy my first car and my school clothes with the money I earned for my early mornings and late nights. That made me frugal.

I am grateful for coming home smelling like some strange mixture of cigarette smoke, grease, and maple syrup. That made me value simple joys like a long, hot shower and the scent of fresh sheets off the clothesline.

I am grateful that dealing with difficult people was something I learned to excel at from the safety of a restaurant kitchen. That did make me tough.

These lessons stuck with me even after most of my work was completed at a desk and behind a keyboard. I remembered those early morning introductory conversations when I had to chair meetings to discuss difficult topics. I remembered the value of a paycheck really was freedom and independence. I remembered the people who were in the trenches and kept them in mind while I worked. There would be plenty more difficult people to navigate, and I remembered those impatient bikers who just wanted a quick breakfast to settle their stomachs.

Looking back, I know my coworkers meant my nickname as a compliment. I took it that way back then, too. The leather part I understand, especially in reference to all the surly bikers I subdued with my charm. But I am not sure I really like being “tough.” I don’t always want to push down my feelings and keep fighting day after day. I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep carrying all that weight and pretending to be tough.

Today, I hope that toughness looks more like persistence mixed with a dose of courage. I didn’t ever give up back then; I stayed until the very last pancake was consumed. And I am not going to abandon the parts of my life that are a bit tough today, either. While waiting tables was my first job, my goal is that this one will be my last job. The one I tough out until it isn’t so tough anymore. It just will take persistence, and some courage, and maybe a bloody mary.

Grammar mistakes are the rust bubbles on an otherwise unblemished paint job.

It’s National Grammar Day. This is a recently created “holiday,” no doubt contrived to make us grammar Nazis feel better about our existence.

Every writer or editor has a list of grammar pet peeves that put him or her over the edge when listening to people speak or critiquing someone else’s writing. Over the years, the pet peeves of my own various editors have seeped into my writing rules, too, so my list keeps growing longer and longer.

A high school English teacher helped me understand there always is a better word than “get.” One editor removed all my adjectives. Another added more. One would never tell me exactly what he changed, except all the times I used “over” instead of “more than.” And then I became an editor of other people’s writing, and my red pen really came out.

Yes, we live in an era of text messages and tweets and entire thoughts conveyed with one emoji. But grammar still matters. Grammar mistakes make us all look thoughtless. And breaking grammar rules we all learned in elementary school makes us look worse than thoughtless. It makes us lazy.

That may seem unkind from someone who has a degree in English and isn’t a member of the “It’s okay to write ‘your’ when you mean ‘you’re’ in a tweet because you are trying to save two characters” crowd. I know I break grammar rules all the time, both intentionally and unintentionally. Some of you already are critiquing the lack of commas or hyphens in my previous sentences. And I will apologize now and save you from commenting on this post with your criticism.

Some grammar “rules” absolutely are subjective. Others just aren’t. Following are my favorite (or most frustrating) 10 grammar mistakes and how to avoid them.

10. Disregarding the “but also” when there is a “not only”

Some of you already are saying, “What rule is that?” It’s a little-known but totally common-sense grammar rule. If you have a “not only” in a sentence or other construction, you also need a “but also,” and the phrases after those words need to be parallel to each other.

Incorrect: She not only wrote a novel and a memoir. She published a book of poetry.
Incorrect: She not only wrote a novel and a memoir but also a book of poetry.
Correct: She not only wrote a novel and a memoir but also published a book of poetry.
Correct: She wrote not only a novel and a memoir but also a book of poetry.

9. Misplacing “only”

People often misplace the word “only” in sentence structure, especially when speaking. “Only” should directly precede the word it is meant to modify.

Incorrect: She packed only enough clothing for one night. (This would insinuate she packed nothing but clothing.)
Correct: She packed enough clothing for only one night. (This would insinuate she could have packed more items than clothing but for just one night, not longer.)

8. Using “that” instead of “who”

Stop calling people “that.” Please, please, please. People should be referred to as “who.” Objects should be referred to as “that.”

Incorrect: The person that did this must be penalized.
Correct: The person who did this must be penalized.

7. Using “I” as the object of a sentence or prepositional phrase

This rule is brought to us by our grandmothers who taught us to say, “This is she,” when answering their phone calls. However, it is correct to end sentences with an objective case pronoun when it is indeed the object of the sentence or prepositional phrase.

Incorrect: Between you and I, I dislike prepositions.
Correct: Between you and me, I dislike prepositions.

Incorrect: That is between you and I.
Correct: That is between you and me.

Incorrect: The mayor nominated Katie and I.
Correct: The mayor nominated Katie and me.

6. Not hyphenating adjectives

When two or more words together make one adjective, especially when those two words directly precede the noun they describe, they often should be hyphenated. However, when the first of the two words is “very” or ends in “-ly,” do not hyphenate them.

Incorrect: The state of the art design impressed us.
Correct: The state-of-the-art design impressed us.

Incorrect: The highly-anticipated grand opening was a big success.
Correct: The highly anticipated grand opening was a big success.

5. Dangling modifiers

We all have broken this rule, but here’s the most important part of it to try to avoid: Dependent clauses at the beginning of a sentence should tell you more about the words that directly follow the clause. Make sure the word directly following the comma is what is being modified by the clause.

Incorrect: Ranging in elevation from 1,000 to 7,250 feet above sea level, we explored the state of South Dakota.
Correct: Ranging in elevation from 1,000 to 7,250 feet above sea level, South Dakota has a varied landscape.

Incorrect: Hiking the long trail, his water ran out. (His water was not hiking the trail.)
Correct: His water ran out as he was hiking the long trail.

4. Misusing apostrophes

This year I seriously imagined myself burning each and every holiday card that came with an apostrophe “s” on the family’s last name. “Merry Christmas from the Smith’s” not only is grammatically incorrect, but also makes me so sad. Where did this terrible lie start exactly? Here’s the quick rundown:

The two main jobs of apostrophes are to show possession or to designate that characters are missing from a contraction. Unless your last name owns something, and that something is written after your last name, please don’t put an apostrophe on your last name ever again.

Correct: Merry Christmas from the Smiths
Correct: Merry Christmas from the Smith Family
Correct: Merry Christmas from the Smith’s House (although sending holiday greetings on behalf of your house would be weird)

3. Confusing quantity and spatial words

amount = how much (a quantity that can’t be counted)
number = how many (individual items that can be counted)

Correct: A number of people complimented me on the amount of nutmeg I used in the recipe.

less = how much (a quantity that can’t be counted)
fewer = how many (individual items that can be counted)

Correct: Fewer people are drinking less wine these days.

more than = used with figures
over = preposition for spatially above something else

Correct: More than 20 dogs jumped over the fence.

less than = used with figures
under = preposition for spatially below something else

Correct: Less than 10 bunnies were living under the porch.

2. Confusing homophones and other words

Please, for the love of all that is good in the world, memorize these commonly confused words and use them correctly. Even in your texts and tweets. Please.

assure = to remove worry (People are assured.)
ensure = to make an outcome certain (Events are ensured.)
insure = as in insurance (Property and lives are insured.)

Correct: I want to assure you we will work to ensure that each item is insured correctly.

it’s = contraction for it is
its = possessive form of it

Correct: It’s about time we went to its grand opening.

then = a sense of time or what comes next
than = comparing two things

Correct: It was then I realized I would rather be a writer than a teacher.

there = a place
their = possessive form of they
they’re = contraction for they are

Correct: They’re waiting there until their car is repaired.

to = preposition
two = numeral 2
too = also, as well 

Correct: Two cats ran too fast on their way to the tree.

who’s = contraction for who is
whose = possessive form of who

Correct: Who’s going to let us know whose socks these are?

your = possessive form of you
you’re = contraction for you are

Correct: You’re going to take your grammar seriously now.

1. Misspelling words

I am the first to admit that I am terrible at spelling. I specifically remember spelling tests in first grade and struggling with how words sound versus how they are spelled. Who in the world decided to spell “of” that way? It truly makes no sense. However, today we have the most amazing technology. A beautiful, squiggly, red line often appears each time you are about to spell a word incorrectly. Consider it a gift. We also have Google, which somehow always knows what I mean when I type “sworay” instead of “soiree.”

Yes, sometimes our apps for Twitter, texting, and others don’t tell us when we are about to spell a word incorrectly. It still doesn’t give us an excuse not to try. Misspelling words is the worst form of grammar laziness we have in our world today.

I am grateful for each editor I had during my writing career. He or she always was just trying to make my writing better. And it worked. Even today, their lessons have stuck with me. Maybe a bit too much in some circumstances. But the grammar rules exist so we all can understand each other, and understanding is what we all are trying to achieve when we communicate.

At H Squared Communications, we are focused on assisting your organization deliver impactful information at just the right time to achieve understanding and influence.

Message matters. Grammar matters. We can help.